From the outside my life looks unchanged. From the inside everything has changed and is changing. Reorientation, reclamation, revolution. These are the words that keep arising.

I have spent decades peeling back layers and plumbing the depths in an effort to drink from my own wellspring. Years of meditation, yoga, somatic therapy, bodywork of many stripes and colors, ceremonial use of plant medicines, ancestral healing, beautiful rituals rooted in animism, three extraordinary birth experiences…all created a confluence of readiness so that I was perfectly primed to meet what you had to offer. I did my best to receive it. I still can’t articulate the acceleration of personal growth that has occurred in the wake of my retreat experience.

This is the closest I’ve come: it’s as if my sexuality was a small candle flame sealed within a small, dark chamber with just a whisper of air to keep it from going out. Then the door to this chamber, which had been guarded so vigilantly, is thrown open and light streams in. The little flame grows and glows brighter. Suddenly it is the center of everything as a hearth fire is built around it. This fire becomes a source for heat, light, food, medicine, magic. So now I’m in the process of figuring out how to live this.

It seems so simple, now so obvious, that my sexuality IS that wellspring I was in search of, yet that essential connection had been severed.

Thank you for gently nudging me towards a path that I am so excited to travel. Thank you a million times over.